What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
