I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
