happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
