No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
