the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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