I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
