You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
