If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize