WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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