i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
