remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So squirting runs in the family.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
