so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
there was a trapeze. enough said
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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