Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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