i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
