I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. Heβs def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
