This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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