Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
