Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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