I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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