An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
