you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
