maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
