Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
why do cheetos always look like penises
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
