I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
