wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
