So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
