left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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