We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
