Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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