this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
