from now on my penis is your penis
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
