This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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