i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
