my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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