I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
