she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
