For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
