I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
