I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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