she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
