i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
40s are totally the cure
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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