I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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