Where are you?
In a non slutty way
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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