wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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