guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Panties = found
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