didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
