You're my little dorito
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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