Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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