I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
