I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
